Daddy
by Teliko. x3
Summary: Catherine leaves Gil with their kids while she goes shopping. Can Daddy handle the kiddies? HAHA. GC. Thanks to Nisha14 for helping out, yo. :D


**Daddy**

**I don't own CSI. I don't own the characters. Except for maybe... Kathy, Mary, and Jr.**

**Raiting? T.**

**_Catherine leaves Gil with their kids while she goes shopping. But can Daddy handle the kiddies?_**

**I wanna thank thee wonderful, Nisha14 for helping me out with this story. I couldn't of done it without her! (tear) LOL! Well... enjoy.**

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Catherine put their three year old son, Gilbert Jr., into his crib and tucked him in. She turned around to see her two younger daughters, Kathy and Mary, standing in the doorway. Five year old Kathy rubbed her eyes and yawned. Seven year old Mary stood there with her arms crossed and her weight supported on one leg. 

"Hey you two... what are you doing up?"

"I can't sleep, Mommy." Kathy walked up to Catherine and threw her arms around her legs. Mary rolled her eyes and yawned.

"Can you PLEASE tuck her in? I want to go to sleep!" Mary said loudly. Catherine picked Kathy up and led them into their room. She placed Kathy in the bed and kissed her goodnight. Catherine went to tuck in Mary, but she got in the bed and pulled the covers over her head.

"Goodnight, Mary."

"Yeah. Goodnight." Catherine closed their door and walked into her bedroom. She found her husband propped up against pillows, reading a book. She giggled at the sight and crawled in bed next to him.

"Well... the kids are asleep."

"So I guess that means we should be too?" Gil put down his book and gave Catherine her pillow.

"Nice try. But you're not getting away with this one."

"Why, what on Earth are you talking about?"

"You know damn well I asked you to watch the kids tomorrow while I go shopping with the girls..."

"You did!" Gil put his hands to his face and gave her a shocked look. "Oh dear! I... I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, baby. I-"

"Bullshit!"

"I bullshit you not, my dear."

"Fine. No sex. For a week."

"CATH-"

"Two weeks..."

"Baby, I-"

"Two and a half..."

"ALRIGHT! I'll watch them!"

"Aww. Honey, how NICE of you." Catherine smirked and leaned over to turn off the lights.

Kathy opened her eyes at the sound of a loud moan. She looked over at Mary and giggled.

"Mary?"

"WHAT!"

"Jeeze. Nevermind..."

"No. You woke me up. What!"

"What do you think Mommy and Daddy are doing in there?"

"I don't know... and I don't care."

"... wanna go find out?"

"NO! Go back to sleep!"

"Aww! Come on! Pweasee? Just a peek?"

"No."

"Mary. Mary. Mary. Mary. Mary. I'm gonna start singing Fall Out Boy."

"Kathy..."

"Am I more than you bargained for yet! I! Been diein' ta tell you... anything, you wana hear! Kuz that's just who I am this week!"

"Blah blah blahh. I'm not listening!"

"Lie in the bed! Next to the mausoleum! I'm just a-nudgin your bedpost but you're just a line in the sun. Drop a harp! Rake your name! We're always sleeping in and sleepy, for the road deer!"

"Shut up!"

"We're goin DA DA! Dedododedoround! And sugar we're goin' down swinging!"

"Alright. But if we get caught... it's your fault."

"Oh goody!" They jumped out of bed and slowly walked up to their parent's door. Kathy peeked her head into the open doorway and her eye's turned wide. Mary pulled Kathy out of the door and pulled her back into the room. Kathy sat on her bed and crossed her arms. "If we can't jump on the bed, why can they!"

The next morning...

Catherine leaned against the door of her car and smirked. Gil stood infront of her, thankful that their kids were still asleep.

"Please Cath. Don't make me do this."

"Nah ah ah! You promised you would. So you will. I'll be home in a few hours."

"HOURS?" Gil watched as Catherine got into her car, with a smirk on her face, and drove off to pick up her friends. He walked back in the house to find Mary hanging Kathy over the stair railing. He ran inside and slammed the door a little harder than he planned to. "MARY! Let go of your sister!"

"She won't shut up! SHE WON'T DO IT DAD!"

"Kathy... what did we tell you about-" He was cut off by the sound of Jr. crying. He ran up the stairs, seperated the two girls on his way up, and walked into Jr.'s room. "Hey there buddy. What's wrong? Big sisters woke you up?" Gil craddled his son in his arms before his two daughter appeared in the doorway.

"DADDY! I'M HUNGREY!"

"Daddy has to feed Jr. first, okay?"

"No Daddy! I want to eat breakfast! Now!" Mary slapped Kathy in the back of the head and yelled.

"GOD! You're such a baby! Get over yourself!"

"Daddddyyyy." The tears rolled down Kathy's cheeks. Gil groaned and made his way downstairs to feed Jr. He could hear the screams of his two daughters up stairs. "I'M NOT A BABY!" Kathy pushed Mary and watched as she fell backwards. Mary got up and grabbed Kathy by the hair. "OW! YOU'RE HURTING ME! STOP! DADDY!"

"Shut up!" Mary let go of Kathy's hair and walked down stairs. She turned on the TV and switched it to cartoons. The volume of the TV was giving Gil a headache and with Jr. crying, it wasn't getting any better. He walked into the living room and stood infront of the TV.

"Mary... could you-"

"NO! GET OUT OF MY WAY!"

"Mary! Can you-"

"MOVE! MOVE! I'M MISSING THE NEW EPISODE OF SPONGEBOB!" Mary kicked and screamed until Gil moved out of the way. Jr. spit out his bottle and cried more. Gil shook his head and walked up stairs to change Jr's diaper. He walked past Kathy, who was laying on the floor; crying.

"Sweetheart, get up." Gil changed Jr and put him in his playpin. He stopped crying and started playing with the toys in his crib. Gil walked out into the hall and helped Kathy off of the floor. She clung on to him. He picked her up and walked downstairs to make breakfast. He sat her down at the table and watched as Mary came from the living room. She sat on the opposite side of her sister and made a mean face. "What do you girls want for breakfast?"

"Eggs." Kathy said sweetly. Gil nodded his head and went to walk to the fridge.

"Pancakes!" Gil stopped and turned around to see another fight breaking out between the two.

"EGGS!"

"I WANT PACNCAKES!"

"Fine. We flip!" Kathy crawled down from the chair and grabbed a coin off of the counter. She fliped it and called out. "HEADS!" They watched as the coin came to a stop.

"YES! TAILS! Dad... pancakes, please." Kathy stomped her foot and threw the coin.

"YOU CHEATED! I don't want pancakes!"

"Who cares what you want!"

"GIRLS! Settle on something or you two won't be having anything at all!"

"Toast..." They both looked down at their feet and sat down at the table. Gil made them each two slices of toast and put the jar of jam in the middle of them. Kathy went to reach for the jam, but Mary yelled.

"GOD! You ALWAYS get to put your jam on first! Give it to me!"

"NO!"

"DAD!"

"GIRLS!" Gil shouted out from them upstairs where he was watching Jr.

"STOP!" Kathy pulled the jar back, but Mary let go. Jam flew everywhere. It was on the wall, their white carpet, the table, and Kathy's clothes and hair.

"Aww. I'm telling! DAD! KATHY FLUNG JAM EVERYWHERE'S ON PURPOSE!"

"I didn't! She's lying!" Kathy got up and ran upstairs, leaving footprints as she walked. Gil met her halfway down the stairs and groaned.

"Go get a bath. Now." Kathy ran to the bathroom and started up her bath. Jr. had fallen asleep in his crib. Gil walked down and stopped at the sight. Purple jam was everywhere. There was no way Catherine would ever let him live this down.

"I told you, Daddy!" Mary jumped down from the table and put her plate in the sink. She walked upstairs and disappeared. Gil got wet rags and started cleaning up the kitchen.

"MARY! NO!" Gil stopped cleaning and listened. "Put them back!"

"NO! I want to see what they are..."

"Ma-"

"WOW! A BLACK BALLOON!" Gil's eyes widdened. He dropped the rag and ran upstairs. He reached his bedroom to find his jam covered daughter and her sister going through the drawers of their nightstand. Mary had pulled out his box of condoms and ripped one open.

"KATHY! BATH! NOW! MARY! SAVE THOSE!" The girls jumped at their father's voice and fell off the bed. Kathy smeared more jam on their carpet. She got up and ran back to the bathroom. Mary jumped to her feet and shoved everything back in the drawers.

"UGH OH! DADDY!" Gil ran from his room to find the hallway soaking wet. He ran to the bathroom and a wave of water almost knocked him down. Kathy was leaned over the bathtub, trying to stop the water. He ran to stop the water, but slipped and fell on his back. Mary ran into the bathroom and almost fell on top of him. She ran to Kathy and pushed her underrwater.

"Dad...help...ME!" Gil slowly got up and pulled Mary off of her sister. He picked her up the by the shirt and put her in her room. He closed the door and ran back into the bathroom. Kathy had managed to turn off the water and was now sitting in the tub with her clothes still on.

"Dad! What are these white stains on your bed!" Gil ran back to his room to see Mary sitting on their bed with his UV light and glasses on. He looked on the floor to find his and Catherine's field kit laid out.

"It's pee..."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah. Your mother wets the bed. Now go watch TV."

"MOMMY WETS THE BED!"

"Oh boy does she ever..."

"I'm telling her you said that!"

"MARY!" Mary hopped down from the bed and ran downstairs. Jr. started crying again. Gil was going INSANE. He walked into the room and calmed Jr. down. Kathy was walking out of the bathroom with a towel around her when she noticed Gil's field kit laying around. She walked in the room and suddenly noticed the bright fingerprint power.

"Whoa. Pretty colors..." She opened up the bright pink and red power and leaned in to sniff it. She cocked her head back and sneeze. Power flew up and went everywhere. She dropped the cans and ran in her room. She got dressed and started playing with some of the toys in her room. Mary walked up stairs after her show was finished and walked in her room to see Kathy playing with her Barbie skateboard.

"Kathy. That's mine. Get off."

"No. It's mine. Santa gave it to me for Christmas."

"Santa doesn't exsist!"

"YES HE DOES!"

"Get off!"

"NO!" Kathy picked up the skateboard and ran out into the hall. Mary pushed Kathy and watched as she flew down the stairs on the skateboard. Kathy closed her eyes as she hit the potted plants that were on the floor next to the stairs.

Hours later, Gil was sitting outside on the steps of the house with Jr. in his arms. He listened to the sounds of plates breaking and things falling. Catherine pulled her Denali into the driveway and gave him a look. She got out and walked up to him.

"Where are the girls?"

"Right now... I don't know. And I don't care..."

"GIL!"

"What kind of monsters did we create, Cath!"

"I... What?"

"Our house... that took so long to build... took less time to destory."

"Gil... GIL! No! Are you SERIOUS?"

"They locked me out of my own house, Catherine. Note to us... never let them watch us argue agian!" Catherine pushed past him and got the spare key under the doormat. She opened the door and put her hand to her mouth. Kathy stopped throwing her toys and slowly smiled. Mary's eyes grew wide and she ran up stairs. Gil smirked and walked up behind Catherine.

"Oh... and by the way... there's a confrence in Houston I'm going to in a few days..."

"Yeah. I know. You mentioned it..." Catherine said sighing. She walked through her house that had dirt, food, toys, powder, paper, and other things scattered around it.

"... it's for a week."

"WHAT!"

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**Okay. Funny? Stupid? Retarded? Hilairous. LOL Um.. the song Kathy's singing is MY verson of Sugar, We're Going Down by Fall Out Boy. ROFL. Yeah. I want to submit this for 50 fic challenge. :-)**


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